63 signs you’re addicted to Google and the Church of Search

Written by: The Tutor on Monday, May 12th, 2008
Posted to: Blogging, Google, Webmaster
21 comments, add yours!

These addicts have a Google addiction!

After reading Mark’s post the other day and announcing I can easily survive without Google I realized something — I’m really probably one of the biggest Google addicts on the planet.

Seriously, each item below came right off the top of my head! Are you as big an addict?

  1. You have a Tivo wish list keyword search for “Google”
  2. You’ve said or written GOOG instead of Google (I hate you btw. ;) )
  3. Without looking you know who runs Calafia Consulting
  4. You’ve purchased something from the Google store
  5. You know what Matt Cutts dressed as for Halloween last year
  6. You’ve checked more than one Google data center for rankings
  7. You know the last name of Matt, Eric, Sergey, Larry, Marissa, and Vanessa off the top of your head
  8. You think having Vanessa in that last item is stupid because everyone knows she left Google a while back
  9. You know what a linkcondom is
  10. You’ve checked the ranking of the same keyword more than once in the same hour
  11. After publishing a new page you’ve checked the Google index within 10 min
  12. You know why Google had to add the copyright notice to the bottom of the home page
  13. You have all the official Google blogs in your feedreader
  14. You know what Google Groups was originally
  15. Google or iGoogle is your browser home page
  16. You have a Google stock monitor on your browser home page
  17. You know Google’s webmaster guidelines by heart
  18. You are notified automatically if Google’s Webmaster Guidelines change
  19. You have more than 10 SEO/SEM blogs in your feed reader
  20. You’ve lost sleep over Toolbar PR
  21. You know where Vanessa works now
  22. You know what a Quality Score is
  23. You’ve used a PageRank prediction tool
  24. You know what a bad neighborhood is
  25. You know what a scraper is
  26. You’ve said ‘just Google it‘ (grr…)
  27. You use Google as spell check
  28. You use Google to do math
  29. You’ve clicked the ‘I’m Feeling Lucky‘ button more than once
  30. You know what Onebox means
  31. You’ve discussed what appears to be a Google algorithm update in a forum
  32. You can’t wait for Matt Cutts to get back from vacation
  33. You know what word Google is a mispelling of
  34. You worry about buying links
  35. You’ve asked for a Gmail invite from a friend
  36. You know what the UPS club is
  37. You own something with the Google logo on it
  38. Google has sent you something with the Google logo on it
  39. You know what Universal Search means
  40. You know how to file a reinclusion request
  41. You don’t need to use advanced search because you know the queries by heart
  42. You know what MFA stands for
  43. You log into your Webmaster Central account more than once per day
  44. You know who created Webmaster Central
  45. You know who first named Google algo updates
  46. You know what an Authority web site is
  47. You regularly read an RSS feed that tracks the search ‘Google’
  48. You’ve read a Google Patent
  49. You’ve watched videos made by Google, about Google, on Google Video (or YouTube)
  50. You’ve entertained the idea of making something that could be seen on Google Maps (if you’ve actually made something, you are nuts!)
  51. You’ve thought your site was sandboxed more than once
  52. After joining Facebook the first person you tried to find was Matt Cutts
  53. You know which SEO wears funny shoes
  54. You know which SEO wears a funny suit
  55. You know the full name of the person Matt Cutts spoke out to help in a court case
  56. You check the Google holiday logo, every holiday
  57. You use Google 411 instead of 411
  58. You know that there is more than one type of PageRank
  59. You know the meaning of the word Googol without Googling it :)
  60. You regularly listen to more than two podcasts about search
  61. You know what the Google Cube is
  62. You set up a Google Alert for”Matt Cutts”, “Google”, “Marisa Meyer”, etc..
  63. You know whose blog is only a text file

A few of those were straightforward, but many are from the land of Google geeks, how did you fare? Are you partying with any Google dust I missed?

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21 Responses to “63 signs you’re addicted to Google and the Church of Search”

  1. # Shell Harrison 12 May 2008 at 10:19 am

    Great idea for a blog post and even better idea for link baiting. Thanks for including my post on bad neighborhoods.

  2. # The Tutoron 12 May 2008 at 10:23 am

    glad you liked it Shell :)

  3. # Andy Blackburnon 12 May 2008 at 11:08 am

    64. In a list of 63 items, containing 50 odd links, you only no-follow the one to a “bad neighbourhood” HAHAHAHA

  4. # The Tutoron 12 May 2008 at 11:17 am

    @Andy B. LOL, told you I was an addict :)

  5. # Uhuhon 12 May 2008 at 9:27 pm

    64. You know that “Marisa” from #7 should have 2 s’s

  6. # The Tutoron 12 May 2008 at 10:09 pm

    @uhuh looks fine to me ;)

  7. # TJon 12 May 2008 at 10:36 pm

    Google is great but it’s Stumble Upon that’s addicting..

    Stumble Upon will take you places you didn’t know existed on the internet anything associated with whatever you list as an interest or even passion of yours..

    I use Google email and for search and I have a home page with lots of gadgets but for discovery it’s Stumble Upon and you get to create a really great website that blows My Space or Facebook away..pages and pages of art photos articles you can customize easily..

    I’d download Stumble Upon asap it’s the best thing to happen to the internet since Google and they don;t follow you around and keep tabs of everything you search or share it with others…

  8. # The Tutoron 13 May 2008 at 8:40 am

    @TJ I agree completely! I’ve been on stumble for a long time. my blog tends to get stumbled often, Google Tutor is pretty popular over there :)

  9. # Sebastianon 13 May 2008 at 2:19 pm

    I love this post, thanks for the email alert! It seems I’m addicted, too …

  10. # The Tutoron 13 May 2008 at 2:25 pm

    @sebastian I figured a fellow addict would like it!

  11. # Charles Lumiaon 14 May 2008 at 5:42 pm

    Haha, I’m definitely guilty of several of those… Thanks also for the cool links, lots of those are really interesting.

  12. # The Tutoron 14 May 2008 at 6:03 pm

    @charles glad you enjoyed it!

  13. # Syahid A.on 16 May 2008 at 4:39 am

    Thank god I am not an addict yet. I’ve seen people that never used the address bar for anything except Google. All other things are typed inside the Google box. Freaky.

  14. # The Tutoron 16 May 2008 at 7:42 am

    @syahid agreed! many people are a bit too reliant on G

  15. # Darius Peczekon 16 May 2008 at 9:30 pm

    I go to Church of Search every day, every hour and every minute or so :-) Since I can not spell, or have no time for it I could not surive without Google. But to be just I visit Yahoo and MSN on a frequent basis too.

  16. # Matton 19 May 2008 at 8:57 am

    thats really funny - as I meat a few too many of those. lol.

  17. # Lars Bachmannon 20 May 2008 at 6:33 pm

    When you talk to people, you try to calculate the keyword density ;)

    Good list…

  18. # The Tutoron 20 May 2008 at 9:37 pm

    Thanks a lot Lars!

  19. # Linda Bustoson 29 May 2008 at 7:36 pm

    I’m guilty of 22 of these, plus I work for a company that runs the Google store (but I don’t own any Google shwag)

    I’ll add a couple too that describe me:

    You visited the Google booth at a trade show and were disappointed they had no giveaways (while Yahoo gave you a shot glass and a tin of breathmints)

    You hired a caricaturist to draw a 2-headed Ghoulgle for Halloween. Said caricature is hanging in the office year-round.
    http://www.getelastic.com/google-guys-halloween-costume/

    You have more than 5 google accounts, and not for clients, they’re YOUR google accounts…

    You’ve actually used Google Scholar

    You’ve considered signing up as a Dmoz editor

    You know what “Don’t be evil” means

    Your blog has its own Google category

    And some random ones…

    You have a bracelet that says “WWGD?”

    You refuse to join Facebook because you’ve still got your fingers crossed for an Orkut invite

    You only shop at stores with Google Checkout

    There’s a picture of you sipping Diet Coke on Google Street view

  20. # Linda Bustoson 29 May 2008 at 7:37 pm

    Oh yeah, and you’ve installed the Google Toolbar!

  21. # The Tutoron 29 May 2008 at 7:42 pm

    @Linda If you are a true addict you know not to trust the toolbar!